Jul 17, 2014

Personal: What kept me away from blogging... AGAIN



Hello my dears, I have been absent from blogging world and I owe you an apology because I disappeared just like that without leaving a note, so I guess it is time to explain a little to you, specially for those of you who are also my friends and might be wondering what the heck is going on with me.
No, I'm neither on holidays nor lost in the middle of the Ocean...
I am not fed up with blogging. In fact I miss it a lot! For the past few weeks new partners and brands kept contacting me and it was thrilling because I never thought my blog would be interesting for any brand, but then I had to make clear to them that I was not able to publish right away and so I missed some opportunities :(
Well, some people insist there is not such thing as BAD LUCK, but if it is not bad luck what is happening to me, then I honestly have no idea.

Since my baby was born we knew sooner or later he had to had surgery because of a small ureter problem. That was of course planned and scheduled since May, he was going to have surgery on the 4th July. In the meantime my father in law, who is the only family we have in this country, was compelled to travel to Italy for a problem with one of his properties there. He is still there by the way. Somewhere in the middle of June, I was diagnosed with a cystic mass in my ovary. It was the size of a tennis ball. I got to do several medical exams, and they conclude it was not malignant, praise the Lord. But it was getting bigger so they absolutely needed to operate, that is what they told me in the first place. But then my doctor explains to me that there is a high risk I was going to lose my ovary in the process. Then I panicked. I panicked because I was dreaming to have another baby and in fact we were looking for it. No wonder why it wasn't working. I consulted my former gynecologist, and she told me I could do a hormone therapy to see if it decreased and then try to extract the mass by aspiring with a needle, without need of surgery. She made it very clear that there was only little chance for it to work. I was overwhelmed. I didn't know what to do so I gave complete trust to the doctor, and said, it can't be worse than this, and left my self in her hands.

My boy was operated one Friday, it was long and painful, and I stayed with him for 2 days at hospital, then on Sunday we could go home. On Monday I got my "quick" puncture, which resulted to last almost one hour and was quite painful. The doctor was shocked how much materia she was draining, and told me "I never saw a mass this big", really encouraging :-P My hubby was looking after my boy, so after the intervention I walked home in pain, oh and I picked some grocers on the way. But my husband needs to go work, and can't stay with us. The company he works for is going badly and they are firing some people, this is not a good moment to risk his post. The following 24 hours were a nightmare of pain for me, alone at home with a 2 year-old in pain and nobody to give us a hand. 

The following Wednesday night, after the football match (so after midnight), just because all that pain seemed not enough, my Achilles tendon broke stupidly by itself in on single net break, and I found myself on the floor without the possibility to stand up again and my baby sleeping in his bed. I called my husband, and what do we do? he needs to take me to the hospital, but we can't leave the baby alone. But do we wake up a 2 year old that needs pain killers to be able to sleep in the middle of the night to go to the hospital? and of course, I can't walk, so my husband can't help me if he needs to carry the boy... So, we had no choice but to ring a neighbour "could you please look after the baby while we go to hospital". Never felt more embarrassed in my life. 

So here I am, trying to keep up with "normal" life on one foot... which is very frustrating and painful. My boy is already doing better, thanks God, and he started the crèche yesterday again. Although his wound still needs special care he's no longer in pain. My hubby is keeping his job for the moment, so we are relieved. Now my foot thing is going to take long. Quite long. And I can't take pain killers for a reason I might (or might not) explain one day. I'm hoping to overcome all this as soon as possible, but at the same time I know I need to be patient. I need to carry a synthetic cast for several months, but that does not allow me to step on my foot, so I'm currently wearing hideous huge and heavy as hell orthopaedic boots that at least allow me to "walk", which is more like a "zombie walk" than anything else, but at least I can move.

Being July is not really helping out, both our best friends are away on holidays, and of course we know a lot of other people, but... What is truly sad in all this is that only in moments like this we realise how hard is to be an "expat". You think to have many friends, but in fact those are just social company, they don't really care enough to help you out. In the end there is only family you can lean on, and unfortunately my family is 10'000 miles away.

Well, there you go, my rant here is done. I hope you get the picture why I have been absent. I know some of you may be interested in knowing what happened. 

For those of you who are away on holidays, please bring me back some!! hahaha
Love you all, thanks for being there despite my absence.
Nati

22 comments

  1. Oh dear, so much bad luck :-(
    I hope things are starting to get better now, your boy gets well soon, your health will improve sooner than expected and your hubby can keep his job (or even find a better one?). I keep my fingers crossed

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    1. Thank you Andrea, it's so sweet of you! We really need the extra good luck, thanks for crossing fingers for us :)

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  2. Davvero una lunga serie di disavventure! Mi dispiace moltissimo. Ma vedrai che tutto si risolverà per il meglio, ci vuole solo tanta pazienza. Faccio tanti auguri a te e al tuo piccolo e ti mando un abbraccio.

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    1. Grazie Silvia! ti ringrazio per le tue parole, e l'abbraccio è già arrivato!
      bacioni :)

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  3. Natalia, lo siento mucho! I wish you good and healthy for you and your baby and keep faith that in the end all it's going to be ok. I'm sure is very hard to do such a thing, but good toughs can bring good around you. Sending my best wishes to you and your family.
    Aby

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    1. Thank you Aby! your nice thoughts have reach us! thank you for your positive thoughts.
      xx

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  4. Hola Natalia, ya me había parecido cómo que tardabas mucho, y respondías poco. Te incluiré en mis oraciones, lo más curioso es que hace unas semanas estaba rezando y tu nombre me salio de la boca para orar por ti, así de la nada. Espero que tu nene y tu esposo estén también bien. Te mando un abraso y pronta recuperación. Yo si creo en la mala suerte , pero siempre hay que ver una manera de sacar lo positivo de algo para no frustrarse.
    Te mando un abraso y pronta recuperación

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    1. Gracias Andrea, no sabes cuanto bien me hacen tus palabras y saber que oras por mí. Trato de seguir fuerte siempre rezo y confiada en que es un momento malo pero pasará. También me acuerdo de tí en mis plegarias :)
      Gracias por el abrazo, hace muy bien cuando una se siente tan sola.

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    2. De nada, me alegra haberte ayudado un poco, También le pedí a mi madre y a su grupo de plegarias por ti y tu familia.

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  5. Oh no, Nati, I am so sorry to hear this! This must have been really tough for you :-( But I'm glad to hear that your boy is on the mend and that he is doing better. Take your time and just stick to your priorities, we will be here whether you're posting blogs by the minute or taking some time off. X

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    1. Hi Sweetie, I know you are there! that's the best part :)
      Believe it or not it has done a great deal of good to me to read your comment. But already by writing down all what happened I already felt better. Like, It's only a page or two, right?... what is a page in the life of a person, hein? Before you can say "jarrón rojo" I might be in Lausanne paying you a visit... and that sounds like a plan ;)

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  6. Oh no! When it rains, it pours, right? I have had the same experiences with several things happening at once with no one to help. So so happy your son is doing better! Hope you will feel better soon, as well. *hugs*

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    1. Thank you Katie! your hug is much appreciated!
      xoxo

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  7. Accidenti Natalia!
    Per i rapporti non ci sono km, è vero, ma la distanza è un grande ostacolo in certe situazioni. Ti mando un abbraccio enorme e tante positive vibes...non sono d'aiuto pratico, ed è di quello che ci sarebbe bisogno adesso, ma almeno sai di non essere virtualmente sola. Take care :-*

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    1. Grazie Ilaria, le tue parole fanno molto bene :)

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  8. oh my god, i am so sorry to hear that. i wish all of you all the best and i hope you recover fast and that everything is gonna be alright again.

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    1. Thank you Fabienne for your sweet comment :)

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  9. Natalia, non ho veramente parole per dirti quanto mi dispiace! Alle disgrazie piace presentarsi sempre insieme, tanto per complicare ancora di più la vita. Spero che le cose non solo tornino alla normalità, ma vadano sempre meglio. D'altro canto "Nothing lasts forever, even cold November rain". Un abbraccio. <3

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    1. Grazie Cristina per i tuoi auguri, mi auguro lo stesso :) un abbraccio anche a te

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  10. Mi dispiace tanto per tutto quello che è successo a te e alla tua famiglia, sei stata davvero sfortunata, ma spero che le cose adesso sono migliorate e che tra un po' tornerà tutto come prima! Un forte abbraccio e un grande saluto a te, a tuo marito e al vostro bimbo! :-)

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  11. Dear Natalia,
    to say that it has been a tough time for you is an understatement. At times like that, I remind myself that it can only get better, since there is a certain unluck which can happen to a person and if you are in an extreme unlucky situation, from that point on things start improving. And once they do, it is very likely that you get an extremely lucky thing! At thimes like this I think about what this lucky thing may me, and dream about the possibilities. I hope your lucky thing(s) arrive soon. So happy to see that you are back. Hugs.

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  12. wish you all the best dear !

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