When I was young I was a babe.
Well, I'm exaggerating a bit, of course, but what I mean is I felt comfortable and self-confident with my whole being, including my body and appearance. With time things have change, specially my body, and I must admit this is having very bad impact on my self-esteem and my general mood. So about one month ago I decided to try and take control over it, because I can't continue feeling this bad about myself.
This will be a very narcissistic post indeed... well they're basically pictures of me, lol. Yep, all this is about a comparison of my figure during the past ten years while I've kept putting on weight.The point here is to show you my evolution, and the bigger I got the lower my self esteem. I want to make clear now I do not have alimentary disorders and I do not suffer from obesity, so I do not want to add unnecessary drama to this issue. I used to be happy with my body and now I feel awkward, weaken, and clumsy in my skin. I don't like what I see in the mirror and it is mostly because of the low self esteem than the actual mirror image. One could be chubby and perfectly happy. But for some reason I am not.
My self esteem has dropped significantly since I can no longer wear my pretty outfits and I don't like what I see on the mirror. I was never skinny in my life, and I don't want to be. Just normal. I use to like myself and this is no longer the case. I post now one picture per year for the past ten years.
About a month ago I joined a group of Argentine friends in facebook with the common goal of adopting a healthier way of living, more sporty and outdoor activities and healthier food, in the aim of loosing weight but also feeling better with ourselves. I can't begin to tell how much good this has done to me! The first 4 weeks I lost 4.5kg and that was just eating healthy and exercising a bit, I was not starving or anything! I'm taking it easy but steadily.
All this has a purpose, it's not that I like that kind of exposure, but in a sense I believe sharing with you is necessary for myself. I believe It'll give me some extra motivation I'm lacking to lose weight and have my slim-ish figure back. This exposure it's suppose to give me some sort of "extra-commitment" with my project. There's another reason and it's that I plainly need encouragement.
You're witnesses now, so I will not have the excuse to be self-indulgent, knowing so, it'll might push me to really go for it!!!
Do you struggle with your weight/health/body shape or anything similar? What things help you regain confidence on yourself (other than makeup and pretty nails, hihi)? Do not hesitate to leave your opinion, suggestion or simply your encouragements, that'd make me a great deal of good.
Love,
Nati
PS. If I ever re-think about it and find this is not really helping me or stimulating me in the way I hoped, I'll just delete the post, as simple as that.
I must say, I definitely enjoy your style - especially the layered looks. Also, congratulations on giving yourself a safe and healthy challenge you can carry with you for the rest of your life! I think it's wonderful you have a support network, so hold on to them. I have a condition which causes me to gain weight (despite diet & exercise) at random and very rapidly; and I've found it helpful in my lows to start everyday by looking in the mirror and telling myself three outward (physical) and three inward things I find beautiful about myself. There were times when it was only my thick hair, eye color, etc.; but eventually I always get back to feeling comfortable & confident in my own skin, no matter the insecurity. You're always beautiful, I'm just glad you're beginning to feel and see it in yourself again! ~Nail*ine It!
ReplyDeleteHi Christine! Thank you for taking the time to read me and write such a nice comment :)
DeleteCudos to you ma belle!!! I think your project is wonderful and your determination to explore all sets of avenues to "fortify" your commitment very encouraging. It is my firm believe that the diet and sports are making up 80 % of how you feel living "in your own house" if you know what I mean. I am impressed by the visible change in the last two pictures, not only that I see that you lost weight but your pose and your glow definitely improved. You are a beautiful woman and it is about time that you believe in this as well again ;-)! And you put it so aptly, clothes and make-up are a nice frame but don't give you the self esteem achieved by feeling happy with yourself. I stopped doing sports for a couple of years due to the job I held and this was a major, major mistake. I started to eat bad stuff and became uninspired and lazy. I turned the wheel back and ever since I am back to my old self so to say. I for sure hope to read more about your progress and please do not hesitate to reach out to me should you feel the need to vent or share a great achievement - I will listen and feel with you - have a lovely Sunday - bisous xxx
ReplyDeleteThank you ma biche! your comment is so encouraging to me, I think you're right, me too I want my "old me" back. Thank you for your support, bisous, ma belle, xxx
DeleteNatalia you are still beautiful and you must remember that you have a beautiful baby because of the changes. I am totally in the same situation as you; I used to be more confident about my figure and now I'm constantly trying to cover up in baggy clothing and just generally awkward on a daily basis about my weight. It looks like you've made an excellent choice joining the group and you can already see the different. I have gained a lot of weight since I moved to Holland and I'm currently really self loathing. I know I can work harder to lose the weight but at the same time feeling so down about it leaves me with less motivation which is stupid... I think we're both totally capable of reaching our goals :) I thought this was a great and really honest post and I hope that posting it helps you and gives you the extra encouragement you need xx
ReplyDeleteHi Ithi! Thank you so much for your comment and sharing your experience with me too. I think I know how you feel, I feel exactly the same, is like a vicious circle, I felt bad about myself which totally put me down, and when I'm down tend to eat more and feel even worse about it :(
DeleteWe are capable of doing it, of feeling better about ourselves, but Ithi, remember, there is no superwoman, and leaving your loved ones, your country, those are big changes, I've been there! Do not hesitate to ask for help. Sometimes a persons stamina is too low to pick-up herself, and needs the help from outside. Then you will see, is like clockwork, once you start, the little improvements will lift you up and give you strength to accomplish bigger goals. My humble advice, do not wait too long before you search for support. human are sociable creatures, we need each other to live, and never has anyone accomplished anything all by himself! Big kisses xxx
I like seeing your "history" photos, year by year, amazing! :-) As Polished Marvels wrote, there is a really visible change in the last two pictures that you published, so I think that you're really motivated to reach your goal, step by step! The important thing is that you keep feeling good and get always more and more self-confident! :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you for your sweet comment Tatjana!
DeleteHi Nati. First of all I think it's very brave of you to share this with us. Many people struggle with body confidence, but most of them don't talk about it, let alone share it with the whole world to read. But I think it's awesome that you do. Looking at you you'd never think you feel insecure about your body and your weight. I've told you this before when we met: I think you look great. But now that I see your old photos I can indeed see that you gained weight throughout the years. Even at your 'heaviest' I still think you looked really good though. That said, if you feel unhappy and have the power to do something about it, then you have to do it. So I applaud you for taking matters in your own hands. Even when you're not technically overweight it's always better to eat more healthily and strive to live as healthy as possible. It sounds to me like you're doing it the right way, taking it slowly and being sensible about it, and I'm sure that you'll be able to keep this up. The transformation from May to now is already amazing, and that in just four weeks :-O Keep it up, Nati, and keep us posted!
ReplyDeleteHi Sweetie! Thank you so much for your comment. Being honest I hesitated for about a week before I dared to publish this. But, in the end I'm glad I did, because I know the gals who read this (is not like the whole world is reading my nonsense, lol) are always very supportive with me. And I wasn't wrong!
DeleteIt is very sweet of you to have such kind words, I really appreciate it, Melissa :)
I'm planing to write once per month on my weight and figure evolution and really change my lifestyle, I don't want to go on a crazy diet, starve for one month and then go back to where I started. I really want a change I can keep up with for the rest of my life :)
bisous, xxx
En el 2011 te ves bien, y es la ropa lo que te favorece y en la de ahora, No se depende de lo que vistas creo. y ese jeans del 2014 es un modelo que puede ser muy difícil osea mira bien, por favor no bajes más . Como tu misma dices no quieres ser delgada. Ami personalmente me pareces que eres Hermosa, acuérdate que el físico , cambia pero el corazón no. El corazón es lo que te hace ver diferente, cuando te sientas feas acuérdate de lo que tu eres por dentro lo sacas por fuera. I cuando tengas unos 70 años vas hace más impacto por quien fuiste y no cómo te veías.
ReplyDeleteCuando tengas 70 años va a hacer más impacto por quien fuiste y no cómo te veías .
Deletehola Andrea, gracias por escribirme! y por leer mi blog. A menudo pienso en vos y cómo te irá, con trabajo y familia.
DeleteSe agradece el cumplido. Y por lo demás tienes razón y concuerdo con lo q dices. Yo sólo estoy tratando de verme mejor yo misma, y sentirme mejor, más ágil, más liviana. Ya me voy sientiendo mejor! He bajado casi 5 kilos y ahora sólo quiero bajar otros 5. Estaba en 73 kg y voy por los 68, cuando llegue a 63 no pensaré en bajar más! Sólo quiero una dieta sana y nutritiva y no todas la porquerías q estaba comiendo, y tb quiero mover mi cuerpo y sentir q no lo voy rrastrando como un peso, sino q es el cuerpo q me lleva a mí!
Espero q Dios me dé salud para llegar a los 70, pero si cambio mi dieta, tb le doy una mano a Dios para evitar colesterol y diabetes y todo eso :)
un beso Andrea!
Hola Natalia, de nada me gusta leer tu blog. Pues lo del trabajo nada, aunque mi esperanzas están en una escuela internacional en la que solicite . con mi familia va bien. Te entiende completamente lo que dices que tu cuerpo te lleve a ti al peso que quieres llegar esta bien , ya que noto que eres una persona alta. Osea que el peso esta bien para tu altura. Come mas sano es mejor para el cuerpo la piel e incluso el pelo. Te recomiendo té para de toxicar, beber mucha agua y come alimentos ricos en vitaminas. Si a Dios hay que darle la mano . cuidándose a si mismo.
DeleteEspero que sigas bien junto a tu familia y que te baya bien en lo de tu estudio.
éxito y ánimo , Que Dios te te bendiga.
Congrats on your journey Natalie!! I see great progress already:) You're right - slow and steady is better than rushed&fast and temporary. I think its so important and great to share success/failure/struggles stories like this because it does definitely help other people in the same situation. Thanks and keep at it - good luck!!:) HowDoesDeeDoit
ReplyDeleteI must say that is pretty amazing for one month! I just started to get back into shape now myself and workout 2x a week at home. I want to look good in winter not summer hahahahha Not to much of a beach goer anyway !
ReplyDeleteYou look really great, both now and then and I think it's brave and encouraging of you to show everyone this! I've been really absent from the blog scene lately but I want to give you a big thumbs up! <3 <3
ReplyDelete